The smiles only looked real.

When I looked at pictures of last year’s trip, an uncomfortable feeling came up.

It’s because the smiles were just muscle memory, something that happens automatically when someone raises a camera and says, “SMILE!”

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“These vacations don’t seem to land the same way they used to. They’re just… trips.” When I said this it was part complaint, part confession to other parents, hoping for some understanding. With two young toddlers, we often came back more tired and stressed than we left. What a ‘vacation’.

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Even looking ahead to future trips feels dreary, like a looming logistical nightmare. During those trips that were supposed to be fun I wasn’t actually feeling joy.

Noticing this forced me to confront something I hadn’t really noticed before.

For most of my life, joy and play has been scheduled. Work first, then play later. Usually on vacation.

It is uncomfortable to admit that play is not something I’m used to. Who doesn’t know how to play?

I felt that strongly learning to play with my children. I’ve recently started to build my play muscle again. And when I play (for real), joy naturally surfaces.

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It reminds me of something the Dalai Lama once said about joy not being dependent on circumstances.

In fact, play can produce joy, with the reverse also being true. Recently, I’ve started intentionally rebuilding joy as a daily habit. Doing something for 5 minutes that brings me joy, like hopping onto a Razer scooter and jetting around the block, even in the middle of a normal Tuesday. There has definitely been a physical element that puts me in a great mood even afterwards.

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Which led me to a question I didn’t expect to ask about work…

Even as the launch date for my podcast gets closer, I’ve been asking myself how to bring more play and joy into the process. Even while setting up the websites and infrastructure.

As my next trip comes up, I am grounding my family with the question, “What must be true for us to have a joyful experience?”

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The chaos that two toddlers bring to a trip is inevitable.

But maybe joy doesn’t come from eliminating the chaos.

Maybe it comes from learning how to play within it.

Which leaves me with a question I’m still exploring:

Can play actually improve the outcome, not just the experience?

Jason Lee

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P.S. As I'm exploring it, I'd love to hear your experiences on this topic in a reply