I haven't sent a letter in a while. I kept sitting down to write, even though it felt like nothing came from it. I didn’t know if I was going anywhere with it and I scrapped pages on pages. Maybe it was just keeping the door open. Then today, it finally flowed. Pressfield writes about this in The War of Art: the idea that showing up is the work, even when nothing ships.

At first, I noticed the pattern.

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Where I start something strong but the momentum fades over a short time. Something happens that makes me miss consistency, then once the chain is broken, I don't want to continue anymore. As time went on, I started to feel embarrassed that I missed my commitment of weekly emails and I wondered if I should still go through with it or retreat.

This is a dynamic that has left a bunch of things half opened, half abandoned.

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Add to that plenty of “my newsletter is doomed” thoughts as well since the biggest thing the experts say is consistency outperforms most of the other stuff. Putting it as a priority to write was part stubbornness, part certainty that I'm supposed to write this.

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Viewed from a positive lens, maybe it wasn't meant to be completed. The broken chain was actually to stop doing that and focus on something else that's higher in priority.

Viewed from a negative lens, it's a genius idea that ended up in the graveyard. The saying "the richest place in the world is the graveyard, where so many unrealized ideas have died with their owners" comes to mind. If I’m the one who takes the idea to the graveyard, am I at fault?

A lens somewhere in the middle says that it's not entirely my fault. I'm great at starting things but it's not entirely my fault that I can't finish it. I'm just not good at it. What if I teamed up with people who are great at the doing and the finishing, but not at starting? Now that would solve the issue for good right?

As I sat with the feelings and the decision about my newsletter, questions came up.

The first one, let’s not call it positive, but a lens that supports dropping the project. A few questions served me here.

Am I doing this out of some kind of lack? To win approval or feel more worthy?

This has been an eye opener on projects I've dropped. 100% of the time that I've done something to win approval from others when it wasn't aligned personally, the project didn't work out even when I pushed my way to completion. The downsides were always greater.

For my newsletter, it was a no. I started it out of overflow. I had something I wanted to share, even as I was uncomfortable building something.

Is my energy needed elsewhere? Is this taking away energy from projects of higher priority? (Such as family or mission critical items?)

This one needed real deliberation because the newsletter didn't directly contribute to my business BUT I felt a persistent calling to share my view with my friends and community. The act of writing and sending it to you has actually helped me grow in ways that outweigh financial targets.

Have I overcommitted? Is this a project that is "no for now". Something to pick up later in a different season?

As someone who likes to start many things, this is a common feature when I am dysregulated and caught up in the excitement of newness. It's funny that when I'm overwhelmed, I add more things that make me even more overwhelmed. After looking at all the projects on my plate, it still fit.

Is this something that is aligned with me? Will it help me grow and stretch?

This last question can outweigh the other ones to continue, but I need to be careful here because it's easy for me to find reasons to do something, even when it's really a no. Yes it may help me grow, but is it truly aligned? That has often required deep soul searching. The newsletter is a yes in many ways to me. From the alignment of speaking my truth and sharing my experiences, to the stretch of putting my work out there publicly.

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In the middle lens, is it something I need a team to do?

The main question I had to answer here was: is this a solo project or a team one?

When it came to my operations consulting business, team was the answer. We made way more impact in both client success and revenue generated when I partnered with Robert. When I looked at the newsletter, it was clear this would be a solo project. In a way, this project is also something that will prove that I can finish things like this, even if I have to wrestle with challenges along the way.

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And the final lens, that supports continuing the project when times get tough. I didn't have many questions left here. The main thing I thought about is, what am I losing out on by not finishing this project? What about for my family, loved ones, and friends?

This was the last one because I focus on alignment. The first two lenses do most of the sorting for me. But in one area of my life this question has had outsized results.

Admin.

Both in business and life, I like to procrastinate and avoid this stuff.

But it changed things for me when I looked at household chores and cleaning rhythms and the outcome of how it affects my family when the house is messy. We're more stressed, and I definitely get frustrated more easily. In the moment it's easy to dismiss it for later, until it's finally so messy we have no choice but to do a few hours of intense cleaning. But a steady rhythm of cleaning actually keeps me more patient and kind to my wife and kids.

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I applied it in my home before my business. There's the quote though "how you do one thing is how you do everything." When I started a better rhythm at home, I also got more organized with my paperwork and admin tasks. I added a few hours a week dedicated only to working on these things. This prevented the death by a thousand cuts that often happens when I take care of them as they arise. I could go a whole day without anything meaningful getting done if I just handle "a small admin thing" every 20-30 min.

The answer for my newsletter was this, if I don't practice sharing here, what I am meant to share would never reach the ones who are meant to hear it.

As I continue to write, there will be good days and tough days. I’ve had to learn to give myself grace for missed days, so that I can follow that up with another one. In my journey, “showing up is half the battle” has earned its place. If I hadn’t been persistent, I wouldn’t have had the time to work through all these questions. And they have solidly planted my feet, knowing that I am going to continue. Confidently, steadily, with stumbles sprinkled here and there.

Jason Lee

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P.S. I'd love to hear from you, reply and let me know what resonated.